Homeless? In the market for a city-centre location that would be the envy of any apartment-seeker if it had walls, a door, warmth, comfort or security? Well, SatireHub Property may have just the pad for you.
Located just off Aucklands Queen Street, this stunning one-bedroom doorway would suit any single homeless person looking for a place close to the heart of the city, but could also accommodate larger groups of people, such as the family of seven who presented at a WINZ office this week looking for accommodation only to be handed a food grant, condoms and sent back out into the night.
Featuring running water from somewhere and on-street parking for someone else’s car, this location is ideal for lovers of al fresco dining, and the open plan structure means you don’t have any pesky walls blocking your phone signal, so you can easily make call after call to the housing authority to find out what happened to your application for emergency accommodation.
The doorway is within walking distance of a near-fatal beating, and there’s even an ensuite bathroom for you, and everyone else, to use too!
With the number of rough sleepers set to reach record highs this winter and no end to the housing crisis in sight, it’s only a matter of time before someone snaps up this prime location. It’s not like waiting for someone in the government to do something about the housing crisis is working out too well for you, so you may as well enjoy your homelessness in as much comfort as you can, in the heart of our proud city!