Phone books now to be delivered directly to recycling bins

In a move applauded by green groups, Yellow Pages has announced plans to deliver it’s iconic telephone directories directly to the nation’s recycling bins.

Studies have shown that usage of the once-indispensable directories has recently fallen with the advent of the internet and the aftermath of several Police Royal Commissions.

A spokesman for the company that gave Australia the famous “Not happy Jan” television commercial and some very large books that nobody with internet access actually uses, says “We still need to publish them, because people need to know what number to call if the internet stops working, but in reality most are immediately recycled, so this is all about getting the consumer on-side by not forcing them to make an extra trip from the front door to the recycling bin.

Also, in the event that they actually decide to keep their phone book for some reason, they can just climb into their recycling bin to get it out. It’s all about keeping the public happy”.

When asked whether the process could be further streamlined in the future, the unidentified spokesman replied they were looking into recycling the books as soon as they came off the printing press, although they would first confirm the books were no longer required at local Police Stations.

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