More than 20 tinny houses in West Auckland forced to close due to ‘security reasons’

Tinny houses in Auckland have been forced to close after a spate of standovers. 21 tinny houses were shut due to “security reasons” on Monday afternoon after a directive was given by the Cannabis Dealers Association. Customers were were met with a “closed” sign and turned away at the door.  The closures came after a tinnu house in Te Atatū was robbed at 12.25pm on Sunday, when a robber brandished a gun before making off with a small amount of cash and 56 pre-rolled cannabis tinny’s. Police said they were aware the tinny shops were…

KFC addict racks up $23k on employer’s stolen debit card to fuel habit

A Manurewa man who went on a $23,000 spending spree using his employer’s bank card has been given a chance to “beat his demons”. Sione Davis, 30, appeared before Judge Peter Giesen for sentencing in the Auckland District Court on Monday. He appeared on several charges, including using a document for pecuniary advantage, theft from a dwelling and driving while prohibited. The judge, reading the summary of facts, said Davis was living in Otara when the offending occurred and was living with the victim, who was also his employer. The victim had misplaced his…

Wiggas granted minority status in America

The much maligned and persecuted minority of ‘wiggas’ have been granted a protective ‘minority status’ in America, WWN has learned. Signed into law by US President Donald Trump, the Republican spoke movingly of wiggas contribution to American music, culture and society. “No one in history has suffered like wiggas in America, no one. And no one has contributed so much to fashion and music, no one,” confirmed the president, who took time out to pose for a photo with a young white, rich teenager from Connecticut who spoke like what…

Homeless man dies from rabies after performing oral sex on stray dog

 San Francisco homeless man who was arrested and later hospitalized was pronounced dead this week after contracting rabies reports the Frisco Chronicler. Bernard John Fellman, 56, was arrested last week and charged with public indecency and lewdness after partaking in sexual activities with a dog in a San Francisco public park. B.J. Fellman had previously been arrested by the San Francisco police on multiple occasions for urinating and defecating in public, although he was never formally charged and was exempted from paying any fines. San Francisco police officers were dispatched…

Parents of 6-year-old Caucasian boy who identifies as Afro-American raise 50k to pay for skin coloring treatment

Parents of a six-year-old Caucasian boy who identifies himself as an Afro-American will now be able to make his dream become a reality. A fundraiser campaign has now raised more than $50,000 to help for 6-year-old William Mitchell to undergo skin coloring treatments which will permanently alter his skin’s pigmentation. Andrew and Caroll Mitchell first sent their son to see a psychiatrist last year after he lacked energy, was sluggish and seemed constantly depressed. Child therapist Eileen Fox eventually diagnosed Mitchell as suffering from an acute form of white guilt…

Stratton Court accused of scamming and misleading customers

A disgraced bankrupt business man has been accused of taking hundreds of thousands of dollars from potential property investors and intentionally misleading them with his company strattoncourt.com.au. Jack Steven Taylor, formerly known as Steven Robert Donnelly is alleged to have pocketed hundreds of thousands of dollars that clients believed was being use to purchase investment properties in the USA. Melbourne man Martin Jones is taking legal action against Jack Taylor, saying he transferred $115,469 to the bank account of Stratton Court, which Taylor then kept.  “This guy is making a mockery of Australian…

Vinny Eastwood – Woke or Mentally Retarded?

Jesus fucking Christ, I just wasted an hour of my time listening to New Zealand ‘journalist’ Vinny Eastwood. It is safe to say my IQ has just decreased by 39. I watched a YouTube video from ‘The Webster Report’ hosted by Paul Webster with ‘special’ guest Vinny Eastwood from the Vinny Eastwood Show! Here are a couple of points I have recorded Vinny Eastwood is a guest on The Webster Report yet doesn’t let the host speak – he steals the whole show. Vinny Eastwood interupts Paul at least 90%…

Wife furious that husband ejaculated on freshly baked buns

Local woman Allie Seed (27) is ‘beyond fucked off’ after finding that her husband, Grant. of 14 years ejaculated on the buns she had baked. Mrs. Seed spent all Friday afternoon baking some sweet buns. At about 6.30pm she went into the kitchen to find that ‘someone’ had given the buns a secret topping – seamen. “I am so fucking angry, I can’t believe Grant would do that to my delicious sweet little buns. I really am not sure what came over him. He covered the buns in his thick…

Dalai Lama says ‘fuck this shit’ to further reincarnations

The Dalai Lama has announced that he will not be doing any further reincarnations on this “totally fucked up planet”, thank you very much. In uncharacteristically colourful language, the Tibetan holy man bemoaned the state of affairs on Earth right now, insisting the world has fallen under the spell of “cunts and obvious wankers”. As he battled pneumonia in a Delhi hospital, Mr Lama cited the Christchurch shooter, Trump and a planned nineteenth series of Masterchef as the primary reasons why he would not be returning to this racist, godforsaken…