Is Brandy-Lee Edin Australia’s sexiest paedophile?

An unknown gender thing has admitted being a pedophile online, and is receiving a heap of hate. Ex Miss World contestant Brandy-Lee Edin is copping a heap of flack online after admitting that he is in fact a transexual gender fluid 12-year-old pedophile. The self proclaimed pedophiles Facebook is filled with sexu pictures of him pretending to be a little girl. The gender is unknown of Brandy – we are not sure if he is a dude or she is a girl. At this stage all we know is that…

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Papakura KFC customer accused of putting maggots in chicken

A South Auckland KFC customer who put maggots in his chicken has shared revolting photos of his “finger-lickin” feed. Tom Masterton decided to get an early lunch around 11am when he claims he put maggots in his chicken after going through the Papakura restaurant’s drive-thru. “I got home and ate a few pieces, I pulled it apart and put some maggots inside the chicken hoping to get a refund lol” he told the SatireHub. Masterton said he then drunk a box of Woodstocks and then vomited before emailing KFC who still…

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D1NZ streakers identity still unknown

A despicable act this weekend has left the New Zealand drift community disapointed and feeling sexually assaulted after an unknown male jumped on a pitbike and streaked during the prize giving. D1NZ round 2 was held at Max Mufflers speedway in Upper Hutt and while prize giving was going on some muscular and well hung (for a cat) male jumped on a pitbike and did a lap around the track. The streaker is believed to be either Steve ‘The Maori’ Daniels, Ethan Bryant or David Hunter. SatireHub has received exclusive…

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Auckland man hilariously breaks jaw crashing Lime scooter and fiancé sooks online

n Auckland man is suffering from a broken jaw and a range of cuts and grazes after his Lime scooter he was riding crashed. Now his fiancé is nore cut up than him. Liam Thompson, 27, did a double front flip over the handlebards of a Lime scooter he was riding on Friday evening, on his way home from his local drug dealers house in Sunnynook, on the North Shore. Thompson was en route home with a 50 bag and 6-pack of vodka cruisers for his son’s first birthday party…

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Teacher on meth strips naked in class and bites 2 students

A teacher was arrested this morning after a drug “bad trip” caused her to strip naked in class and physically assault her 4th-grade students, severely biting two of them and injuring six others. According to the Olympia police department, 37-year old Laura James was “visibly intoxicated and behaving erratically” when she showed up for work this morning. Due to a lack of replacement teachers, she was still allowed to teach her class but rapidly went out of control. Olympia police spokesman, Lieutenant Robert Emery described the incident during a press…

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Pregnancy boom linked to “swimming pool masturbator”

A man has been arrested after being accused of impregnating up to 27 women in Dannevirke. CCTV footage from the municipal pool showed the man visiting up to 7 times a day and vigorously and explicitly ejaculating into the main swimming pool up to three times per visit. Authorities estimate at least 4 litres of semen were expelled per visit. Since September, the local DHB has reported up to 27 local residents have become pregnant, with some reporting they do not have a partner and some have not reported even…

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Freedom camper fined $400 after being photographed wearing Croc’s

When Carolyn Johnston saw a freedom camper putting on some strange looking beach shoes and wandering down to the beach, she couldn’t resist a “perfect opportunity”.  Johnston followed the international visitor to a rocky patch where she took a picture of her with her pants down while wearing Crocs. “I was just that mad. Just wild,” said Johnston, a member of the New Zealand Motor Caravan Association (NZMCA).   “Don’t wear Crocs in our country.” The drama unfolded at Little Waikawau Reserve, along Thames Coast, which requires all freedom campers to wear suitable footware, not…

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Trolls matter! Introducing Roasted Kai

Roasted Kai was inspired by people getting kicked out of Facebook groups for trolling, or groups having too many rules. Trolls matter yet they are blocked & muted because they are truthfully opinionated where its needed. Why be nice and kind if you don’t mean it. Trolls deserve a say too that’s where Roasted Kai come in. Its a place where you can simply put the feet up and be yourself (a real cunt) and socialise without a single care in the world for the other cunt. In the real…

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Maori Party to sign up for unemployment benefit

After a hilarious defeat at last year’s election, the Māori Party has admitted the tagging is on the wall and has signed up for the Unemployment Benefit. What began in hope 14 years ago has been reduced to a few dozen die-hard Māori Party members presiding over a living funeral. It’s not that there isn’t any work for the Maori Party, it’s just that the Maori Party will not work. Who ordered sushi for the Māori Party? Māori Party open to everyone but ‘damn Pakehas’ Māori Party smacks mouthy wife…

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Woman gives birth to black child; blames coffee her husband drinks

With news trickling in this Thursday from the local hospital in Palmerston North, it appears a young woman, 24 years old and of European descent, has given birth to a beautiful baby girl weighing in at 7lb 11oz. Tara Nicola, 24, and her husband are both of European descent yet the baby was born black. After delivery, her husband who was present at the birth, furiously asked doctors and his wife for an explanation. “I’m not a racist, I don’t care about the colour of his skin, but, have you…

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