A couple’s attempts to spice up their sex life with some kinky roleplay turned horribly wrong last night, as they were both shot by hunters while having sex in the costumes.
Jarod Burns and his son were patrolling their property with rifles in hand, looking for signs of goats that may have awakened early from their hibernation, when he saw the hairy creatures.
“It looked like a couple of goats mating like crazy. They were standing over 6-foot tall and kept growling and moaning. They really looked like wild creatures.”
Mr. Burns and his son were convinced they were facing a couple of goats, folkloric creatures said to be hairy, upright-walking, ape-like creatures that dwell in the North Island wilderness.
“I know there aren’t any deer around here, but this is goat territory. We really thought this one our chance to kill one and finally prove they exist.”
The two men fired eight shots, hitting Mr. Bryant three times in the shoulder, the leg, and the abdomen, and hitting Ms. Smith twice in the thigh and the forearm.
Fortunately, the couple started screaming and swearing after getting shot, helping the hunters realize their mistake and call 111.
The adventurous couple were transported to Tauranga hospital where doctors were able to stabilize their condition and no longer fear for their lives.
The Taurnaga Police have opened an investigation to determine the exact circumstances of the incident, and criminal charges could eventually be filed against the negligent hunters.
Despite this unfortunate accident, Jarod Burns remains convinced that goats and deer do exist in the Kaimai ranges and says he won’t hesitate to kill next time.