Cop attempts to shoot dog for barking but accidentally shot himself instead

In a totally shocking incident, a police officer has shot himself on the right leg, after missing his main target, a dog. According to local officials, the dog (named “Pepe”) was barking too loud in the middle of the night, and the police officer Thomas Brown woke up a little dizzy, grabbed his gun and attempted to murder him. His wife woke up after hearing the shot, and found the dog trying to help Brown get up. She called an ambulance and he was taken to the hospital. “I was…

Hong Kong porn star is the first man to receive ‘horse to human’ penis transplant

A Hong Kong porn actor has become the first human ever to undergo a horse to human penis transplant reports the Hong Kong Post this week. Jack “Matherfuker” Ma, a porn actor whose acting name is inspired by his eerie resemblance to Jack Ma, the Chinese business magnate and executive chair of the Alibaba Group, has undergone the 18-hour-long surgery with no apparent complications. Ma decided to undergo the risky procedure to revive his swindling career which had become stagnant, according to his manager. “Now big long horse penis will be famous…

Local woman forced to take up nangs to get her through dry season shortage of shrooms

With not long to go until the Kiwi magic mushroom season kicks off, local traffic controller Kelly Dowell (29) has managed to survive the shroom-free summer with a few nang heavy weekends. Usually a fan of the ‘natural’ and ‘earthly’ high of psychedelic mushrooms, Dowell has managed to curb her lust for natures trip hazard by sucking down box after box of nitrous oxide canisters until she can get her hands on some shrooms again. She has been buying them from New Zealand’s biggest nang supplier – nangs.co.nz. “Usually I…

91-Year-old catholic nun auctions her virginity to rebuild Notre-Dame Cathedral

A 91-year-old French Catholic nun devastated by the destruction by fire of the Notre-Dame cathedral of Paris is auctioning her virginity to the highest bidder to help in the reconstruction effort of the 12th-century Gothic monument. Antoinette DeBasile, a Dominican Sister of the Presentation of the Virgin Mary, is offering what she believes to be her most valuable asset to help raise funds to rebuild the Notre-Dame cathedral of Paris. Sr. DeBasile who entered the Dominican monastery at the age of 16, says she is ready to do anything in…

17 years later, Eminem’s closet still not cleaned out

In 2002, Eminem topped the charts with his hit single “Cleanin’ Out My Closet” from the album The Eminem Show. The vicious lyrics fledged an attack on Eminem’s pesky mother, Debbie Mathers, who reportedly forced Eminem to skip the big school dance because he hadn’t completed this chore. While the verses in the song heavily criticize Debbie’s vigilance, Eminem ultimately promises that he will clean out his closet that very night. 17 years later, new reports suggest that Eminem’s closet has still not been cleaned out.  We visited Eminem’s dilapidated childhood…

Kindergarten kids should be protesting climate change – Judith Collins

Judith Collins says kindergarten children should be taking part in Friday’s School Strike 4 Climate marches. Kids across the country – and around the world – are skipping classes to protest inaction on climate change.. In the small Bay of Plenty mining town of Waihi, students from primary schools and Waihi College will be joined by toddlers from Waihi Kindergarten. Head teacher Kate Mullaney told NZME while taking part is “totally optional”, none of the parents have pulled their kids out of the historic demonstration. She said the kids understand…

We are now hosted in Iceland!

Human rights in Iceland are amazing, Iceland has championed itself as being a beacon of net neutrality and online privacy for both its citizens and any organizations who take up business domicile in the country. Of note was a 2015 parliamentary resolution on Equal Access to the Internet which re-defines “data service providers” as “common carriers”, which is believed to be in the spirit of Net Neutrality, whereby access to the Internet is part of all Icelandic citizens’ civil rights, and which are said to reflect the reality of 21st…

John Oliver praises ‘amazing’ NZ after Christchurch mosque terror attack

John Oliver has opened the latest edition of his show, commending New Zealand’s reaction to the Christchurch terror attacks. US talkshow host and comedian John Oliver has praised New Zealand for how “it’s been showing its strength in how it’s been responding” to the Christchurch mosque shooting. Oliver opened the latest episode of his Last Week Tonight show with the New Zealand flag in the background, before launching into a monologue praising the country’s resilience in the wake of the shootings which left 50 people dead. Oliver said it wasn’t “just a disgusting act” from…

Pig brothel dismantled during FBI raid

FBI agents cracked down on unsuspecting party goers at a Missouri pig farm yesterday where more than 40 arrests were made over allegations of bestiality and animal cruelty. Suspected for some time by local authorities of running a pig farm functioning as an underground pig brothel, where clients paid for sexual services with the farm animals, the 67-year old farm owner was arrested with two of his sons and some 30 guests who were present to celebrate his birthday. Caught in full action during the night of the birthday bash, the FBI raid engaged…

Woman spits out six babies in nine minutes

A woman in Texas, US, has given birth to six babies in just nine minutes, a hospital has reported. Thelma Chiaka gave birth four boys and two girls on Friday morning. The whole birth of the six babies took place between 4.50am and 4.59am (local time). According to the Women’s Hospital of Texas, where the babies were born, the newborns are all healthy and in stable condition in the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit. The mother is also doing well. The mother has reportedly named her daughters Zina and Zuriel.…