Parents of 6-year-old Caucasian boy who identifies as Afro-American raise 50k to pay for skin coloring treatment

Parents of a six-year-old Caucasian boy who identifies himself as an Afro-American will now be able to make his dream become a reality. A fundraiser campaign has now raised more than $50,000 to help for 6-year-old William Mitchell to undergo skin coloring treatments which will permanently alter his skin’s pigmentation. Andrew and Caroll Mitchell first sent their son to see a psychiatrist last year after he lacked energy, was sluggish and seemed constantly depressed. Child therapist Eileen Fox eventually diagnosed Mitchell as suffering from an acute form of white guilt…

Wife furious that husband ejaculated on freshly baked buns

Local woman Allie Seed (27) is ‘beyond fucked off’ after finding that her husband, Grant. of 14 years ejaculated on the buns she had baked. Mrs. Seed spent all Friday afternoon baking some sweet buns. At about 6.30pm she went into the kitchen to find that ‘someone’ had given the buns a secret topping – seamen. “I am so fucking angry, I can’t believe Grant would do that to my delicious sweet little buns. I really am not sure what came over him. He covered the buns in his thick…

Why watching snooker all day is better than a spa weekend

The snooker’s on and some people claim it’s a complete waste of time, but they’re full of shit. Here’s five reasons why watching snooker is better for the soul than some fucking spa weekend surrounded by twats. Snooker is good for your brain: All those complicated sums and angles will make you feel like a half-human, half-computer super-being of the future. The hushed commentary is like an ASMR video. You are floating on a cushion of pure thought. The referee’s white gloves and the attention he plays to cleaning the…

How to survive an attack by gay zombies

“Physically alive but spiritually dead; morally rotten or at least infected”… that’s how one Auckland Bishop priest described LGBT people this week. And with a poll of local people showing that the country is now full of more gay people that ever before, New Zealand finds itself in what the Catholic Church seems to be regarding as a gay zombie epidemic; we’ve no time to lose, let’s prepare! First, it’s important to know what we’re up against. With the Catholic Church still sporting a 100% unblemished record when it comes…

Which is the coolest drug?

Drugs are the epitome of cool. It’s an infallible truth that’s held true through the ages. De Quincey, Ginsberg, Basquiat, ODB, Hedberg, Moses – they were all bloody at it. Granted, they mostly all died of drug-related causes, but drowning before your time, face down in an opiate-induced septic tank of your own vomit is waaaay cooler than dying of boring, old pancreatic cancer anyway, right? Natural causes might be nature’s course, but it won’t get you on many laminated posters in Camden Market. From the beatniks getting hot rock…

The Three Little Pigs

1.  BIBLIOGRAPHY:Marshall, James. 1989. THE THREE LITTLE PIGS. New York: Dial Books. ISBN: 08037059482. PLOT SUMMARY:  In this story, three little pigs set off and leave home for the first time. The first little pig meets a man with a cart of straw and decides to build a house out of straw. The big bad wolf discovers the little pig in his straw house and demands the pig to let him in. When the pig says no, the wolf then blows his house down and eats the pig. The second…

Fuck! 404 error!

The HTTP 404, 404 Not Found, 404, Page Not Found, or Server Not Found error message is a Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) standard response code, in computer network communications, to indicate that the browser was able to communicate with a given server, but the server could not find what was requested.

Brunei man arrested on charges of gay conspiracy for selling DVD copies of Broke Back Mountain

A Brunei man is facing 160 years in jail after authorities seized over 400 DVDs deemed as “homosexual propaganda” by the state, reports the Kalimantan Press this morning. Analak Hmong Lau, 43, was arrested this morning during a raid on his DVD store which specializes in American movies. Amongst the titles seized by police and labeled as “homosexual propaganda” were copies of “Broke Back Mountain, Boogie Nights, Lord of the Rings and all Harry Potter movies” reports the Kalimantan Press. “Movies promoting openly homosexual themes, gay characters or which employ gay…