Boy raised by kangaroos discovered in Australia

Australian authorities have captured a  feral young boy this morning in New South Wales, who had apparently been living in the wild with a group of kangaroos. Many sightings of the boy had been reported by various ranchers of the region over the last months, and he had even drawn some attention from the local media. The child had been reported to accompany a mob of red kangaroos, which seemed to have adopted him as one of their own. Officers of the federal police were finally able to capture him this morning, 16 kilometers outside of Broken Hill. He was taken to the hospital immediately after…

Destiny Church celebrates 21 homophobic years

The Pentecostal church popular with South Auckland beneficiaries that keeps getting under the skin of mainstream New Zealand has come of age. Renowned for its denouncement of homosexuality, its political failure, scamming vulnerable people, the Tu Tangata Motorcycle Club, objection to other religions and the use of the Mongrel Mob’s gang sign, Destiny Church has celebrated its 21st anniversary. Happy birthday Destiny Church! SatireHub supports freedom of speech.

KFC addict racks up $23k on employer’s stolen debit card to fuel habit

A Manurewa man who went on a $23,000 spending spree using his employer’s bank card has been given a chance to “beat his demons”. Sione Davis, 30, appeared before Judge Peter Giesen for sentencing in the Auckland District Court on Monday. He appeared on several charges, including using a document for pecuniary advantage, theft from a dwelling and driving while prohibited. The judge, reading the summary of facts, said Davis was living in Otara when the offending occurred and was living with the victim, who was also his employer. The victim had misplaced his…

Man arrested after selling meth in now illegal plastic bag

A Christchurch man has been arrested after selling meth in a now illegal plastic bag. It is understood, Craig Peters from Lyttleton sold half a gram of methamphetamine inside a small ziplock baggie which was inside a New World supermarket bag. The new rules apply to any type of plastic less than 70 microns in thickness, that’s new or un-used, has carry handles, is provided for carrying sold goods, and is made of bio-based materials like starch. It also covers bags made of plastics that are degradable, biodegradable or oxo-degradable.…

A guide on how to become a Oranga Tamariki social worker

Oranga Tamariki—Ministry for Uplifting Children are on a journey to ensure that all Māori tamariki belong and are part of a loving Pakeha whānau. Oranga Tamariki is leading social work practice that is state-centered, trauma inducing and non-effective for all Māori parents. As a Social Worker, you will have an opportunity to change the lives of young people and their whānau, for the worse. Using the latest weakness-based practice tools and assessment frameworks; you will work hard to get quality outcomes for tamariki and rangatahi. Oranga Tamariki uses a lot…

Hell Pizza surprises customers with human feces-based meat pizza

Fast-food chain Hell Pizza has recently released a pizza with human shit being the main ingredient. Following the launch of its ‘Bugger Pizza’, Hell did not disclose to its customers that the burgers on the topping was actually human excrement. Hell says it had sold 3000 of the pizzas since last Friday and only one customer had guessed that the ‘medium-rare burger’ patties were actually human shit. In an online survey, 70 per cent of those who tried the covert pizza said it tasted just like shit and 80 per…

Toilet paper shortage in New Zealand prisons linked to Three’s Love Island

The Department of Corrections have released a statement this afternoon in response to allegations that New Zealand Prisons are running out of toilet paper. Corrections operations general manager Jason McMermaid said New Zealand prisons currently have a limited supply of toilet paper and he believes that Love Island on TV Three at 5pm is to blame. “Once it hits 5pm all the prisoners are in their bunks, under the blankets with tissues in one hand and remote in the other. They just can’t get enough of the sluts on Love…

Undercover operation finds suspect shits in the shower

Undercover operations which were conducted by the GCSB, Five Eyes and NZ Police over a year on certain individuals in New Zealand found one suspect guilty of shitting in the shower. The operation took a turn for the worse when one of the undercover agents left the shower with ‘mud’ on the soles of his feet. After forensic testing at an ESR laboratory, results came back that it was not indeed soil or mud, but human feces. The operation which cost the tax payer more than $250,000 left operatives with…

The idiot’s guide to streaming the Rugby World Cup for free

Fuck paying for Spark’s coverage of the Rugby World Cup this year, when you can simply and easily stream it for free. More Kiwis are spending less time watching traditional television – or they’re fretting about how they can stream content over the internet to keep watching their favourite sport. There is a big stew of services out there – sometimes overlapping, sometimes competing and sometimes cooperating with each other. Here, we attempt to answer the most common questions about streaming, in as plain English as possible. Q: What is…

ACT Party to focus on freedom of speech

Some great news from our mate David Seymour, leader of the ACT Party. Seymour has announced a major focus of the ACT party would be freedom of speech. “The idea that you could be punished for saying something offensive or insulting is something that worries a lot of Kiwis,” David Seymour He is submitting a Private Members Bill which would remove a number of hate speech provisions, such as section 61 of the Human Rights Act, which outlaws publicly abusing or threatening people on the ground of the colour, race, or ethnic or…