Is Netsafe CEO Martin Cocker behind Momo?

A terrified five-year-old from New Mexico in the US has called the police on Momo, imploring them to track down the scary internet creature. Momo has recently made headlines after images of Japanese artist Keisuke Aiso’s creation reportedly appeared in the middle of children’s videos on YouTube, threatening the viewers and their parents. It also made headlines last year after reports surfaced of a challenge where Momo would tell participants to kill themselves. This was later revealed to be a hoax. Giovanni Pedroz’s parents said they told their son to…

Alcoholic plans on smashing ‘Dry July’ by getting himself locked up on last day of June

A Dunedin alcoholic who has failed each year at raising money for Dry July has decided that this year he will not fail. He plans to get himself locked up so he can achieve his goal of ‘Fuckin’ smashing Dry July kieeeent’. Dry July is a fundraiser that challenges you to go alcohol-free and raise funds for people affected by cancer. Family and friends never donated to the 44-year-old’s past attempts to fundraise for Dry July as it was known he couldn’t get out bed without having a drink. However…

We love you, Brian Tamaki

The launch of a party fronted by Destiny Church leaders was a media event to remember. Rick Rickshaw was there. Somewhere along their journey through the public eye, Hannah and Brian Tamaki got the idea that the media hates them and their church. They have never been more wrong about anything. From the moment Destiny Church members stormed down Lambton Quay chanting Enough is Enough, Brian Tamaki has been among the most bankable media figures in the country. No matter what he says or does, you know that if there’s…

How To Lie & Tell Him He’s The Biggest You’ve Ever Had, A Guide

A delicate situation. A fragile ego. Floods of tears. An unconvincing ‘oh my God it’s so big’ can devastate a man, hurtling him into an existential hole from which he may never return. And if you’re the kindly sort that wants to keep up the illusion that you didn’t get the ride of your life off that German lad who was over in Ireland for a stag last year, you may need to up your lying game. After all, it’s for a good cause. Here’s some simple steps to help…

Behind Bar’s – Anna Leask

Behind Bars, by journalist Anna Leask, reveals life inside New Zealand prisons from those who know it best. These two extracts — from a female inmate and a guard — illustrate a world most people will never experience. The new mum inmate When they locked her up for the first time her baby girl wasn’t even two months old. The day she went to court for sentencing she couldn’t bear to bring her daughter with her. She didn’t want her last goodbye to be fraught and emotional; she didn’t want…

Vibrator On A Budget: A Cucumber Taped To A PS4 Controller, We Show You How!

It’s not an easy time in life when you need to get your kicks but your weeks away from pay day so the deluxe rampant rabbit is out of the question, and cheaper vibrators can’t be trusted to get the job done. And after paying the bills, paying for transport, ordering that take away you said you wouldn’t order because the last time you had a take away was the for real very the last time ever, what money is left to splurge on the latest and greatest masturbatory aides?…

Zuckerberg to spend nice relaxing evening listening in to everyone’s calls

After yet another busy and stressful day at Facebook HQ, American technology entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg kicked off his $4 Walmart trainers into the area under the stairs and threw himself onto the couch for a nice relaxing evening of listening to private phone calls. Swapping from Whatsapp to Facebook messenger’s realtime calls, the young billionaire randomly highlighted a two-way video call to watch and listen to as he took notes on the private conversation. “The subjects seem to enjoy greeting each other on the visual call, but I do notice both people look more at their own faces than the face…

How to be incredibly annoying at work

Do you like pissing off colleagues with your incredibly annoying personal habits? Here are some great ones to try – if you haven’t already! Heavy breathing Slowly drive your co-workers into a state of silent rage by sounding like Darth Vader or a serial killer leafing through polaroids of his victims. Up the ante by combining it with eating. A tuna baguette being noisily masticated somehow makes it far worse. Constant angsty phone calls At first colleagues will be sympathetic to relationship problems. But after you scuttle off for the…

McDonald’s deliveries to Invercargill Prison using drones

SatireHub has obtained photographic proof of McDonald’s food being delivered to prisoners at the Invercargill Prison using drones. The picture was taken by David Smithers as he was tucking into a footlong across the road at Subway. “I heard a noise outside and then all of a sudden a fucking McDonalds bag goes flying straight past me, I quickly took out the old phone and managed to get this great picture” Smithers said he saw the drone fly right up to a prisoners window and a man grab the McDonalds…

9 people drown at Auckland BBQ

Nine people have died and four more are still missing, following an Auckland man’s attempts to have a nice early winter barbecue in his back garden on what seemed to be a perfectly nice day. David Jones had called home earlier yesterday to tell his wife Eileen ‘not to put on any dinner’, as he had checked the forecast and deemed it to be the ideal evening to get a few friends around for burgers and beers. However, Jones cook-out quickly turned to catastrophe following the application of burger to…