‘The Joker’ reviewed by an angry mother who hasn’t seen it

The highly controversial movie (according to online media) has been the source of fierce debate (according to online media) sparking calls for discussions on how movie violence encourages real life imitators (according to online media). The Joker, released a month back in cinemas, illegal downloads, in the ‘synopsis’ section of Wikipedia pages and in carefully crafted online summaries designed to coax people into apoplectic rage fits is directed by Todd Phillips and stars Joaquin Phoenix. In an effort to make no effort whatsoever to provide an actual expert on such…

Sex robots that can cook and clean efficiently will be available by 2020

 According to reports, tech companies that are producing realistic sex robots are trying to reach the next level in creating sex robots that can cook and clean. Company spokesperson’s say the cooking and cleaning sex robots can be available for purchase as soon as next year. Sex Robots have become a very hot topic, both criticized and praised. Many think sex robots will have a negative impact on society and sex life, as people may choose sex robots over actual people. With many people on Twitter making jokes about how…

A handy guide to not whipping out your penis and masturbating in front of people

Pulling out your penis and masturbating in front of someone who didn’t consent to it is not a moment of weakness, an accident, borne out of confusion over what is and isn’t okay, or difficulty adjusting to ‘the culture’. It should be perfectly obvious that if someone doesn’t enthusiastically ask you to take out your genitals and start masturbating, you shouldn’t do it. And yet, there are men who seem to be confused. In response to multiple allegations against him, Harvey Weinstein said that having come of age in the…

Local girl has halloween costume picked out since May

Although the vast majority of the Halloween-enjoying population has yet to pick out their fancy dress costume for this year’s festivities, Waterford native Sheila Keeling has had hers picked out since May – and if she’s really being honest, she’s had it in mind since September of last year. Keeling, who describes Halloween as being ‘her Christmas’ is refusing to divulge details of the costume, but has hinted that it will involve several hours of sewing, gluing, papier mache modelling, some light CGI work and at least four hours in…

Kyle Sandilands calls the prophet Muhammad a ‘dirty pedophile’

Radio host Kyle Sandilands is under fire from religious groups for making offensive comments about the prophet Muhammad. During a segment on KIIS FM’s The Kyle and Jackie O Show, the 48-year-old said ‘Yeah, I know people got upset about the Virgin Mary joke but it was a joke. It’s not like I said something like Mohammed was a dirty pedophile and so are most Mulsim men’ He ridiculed the idea which is in the Qran that talks about the 72 virgins. ‘What other kind of religion offers someone in heaven…

Mum’s around the world make spaghetti to celebrate Eminems birthday

Today, the self-proclaimed Rap God, Eminem, is turning 47 years old. In honour to him, a lot of mums around the word are cooking spaghettis. While politicians are having a party, these moms are cooking what any son would expect when getting home from school. “The best way to surprise your son is with mom’s spaghetti“, said a random mum to our reporter Ally Louia, who while cooking told us a beautiful poetry: Palms are sweatyKnees weak, arms are heavyVomit on my sweater alreadyMom’s spaghetti Delighted by the beautiful lyrics of this poem,…

NASA and Elon Musk team up to bring back Tony Stark

Tony Stark is lost in space. He has no food, no water and he will eventually run out of oxygen. He needs our help, and that’s why NASA and Elon Musk agreed on building a new spaceship that can travel at 69% of the speed of light in order to bring him back home. “Our engineers are currently working to find him the vast emptiness of the universe”, NASA director Gary Cockburn said. “We haven’t been able to find him, but once we do, he’ll come back home”. “I’m going…

Kanye West admits he wants to have sex with all four Kardashians

Kanye West openly admits that he wants to sleep with ALL FOUR of his wife Kim Kardashian’s sisters in a new song. The 41-year-old rapper revealed he would like to ‘smash’ his sisters-in-law, in his latest track XTCY. Early Saturday morning, the rapper, 41, released “XTCY” with DJ Clark Kent tweeting a link to the track which West retweeted soon after. ‘You got sick thoughts? I got more of ’em,’ he raps, before making the revelation, which will surely make the next Kardashian family gathering an awkward gathering. ‘You got…

Man contracts syphilis after licking stripper pole in Hamilton

A 40-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has filed a lawsuit against an Hamilton strip club. The NZ Herald reported Thursday that Mike Litte, 40, is seeking $500,000 in damages from a Hamilton strip club. During the performance, one dancer apparently “squirted” on the dance pole, which Litte decided to lick before suffering from symptoms of syphilis days later. “My client was not aware that the dancer had syphilis and that the content of her female ejaculation was contagious” Litte’s lawyer, Andrew Smith, told reporters.…