Hipster red-faced after uncle unironically wears the same outfit to BBQ

A family barbecue ended in embarrassment for local hipster Edwardino on Sunday, when distinctly un-hip Uncle George rocked up in an almost identical outfit. Edwardino, who runs a popular pop-up vintage cufflink dispensary in a decommissioned Newtown bus-stop, said the fashion faux-pas was totally unexpected. “I went to a lot of trouble to select my outfit; I chose a retro orange paisley shirt I found in an upcycled fashion boutique that my friend runs out of a restored Kombi van.” “Then I paired it with some super-expensive pre-stressed jeans I imported myself, a pair…

Wellington: 76-year-old prostitute retires after satisfying her 500,000th client

Today marks an important milestone in the history of prostitution in Wellington, as the legendary prostitute Beatrice “$3.00” Thompson announced her retirement after a 54-year career that left 500,000 customers satisfied, including four New Zealand prime ministers. Nicknamed “3$” for the price of a blowjob when she started working in the sex industry, Ms. Thompson rapidly became known as one of the best in the profession. The Sex Workers’ Union of Wellington named her “Sex Worker of the Year” seventeen times between 1969 and 1992 and honored her contribution to…