The World’s Oldest People Keep Dying And No One Knows Why

With the official oldest person in the world being announced this week as 116-year-old Japanese woman Kane Tanaka, SatireHub investigates one of the most cursed Guinness records to date, which has so far taken every single person who has held the prestigious title. Investigating the records of all the oldest people in the world, we start with the very oldest recorded person in the world, Jeanne Calment, a 122-year-old French woman who suddenly just dropped dead in 1997. “Just like nearly all of her predecessors, Calment was just your stereotypical supercentenarian enjoying life to the fullest,” tells historian Dr. James Patterson,…