Coffee just flavoured tap water, finds report

Despite thousands of claims of unique one-off blends of gourmet, fair-trade ethical coffee, a shocking report carried out by SatireHub Institute of Technology found that 99.99% of coffee is only as good as the water it’s made in. “Sorry to burst your bubble here but no matter what the coffee claims to be, at the end of the day it’s still just flavoured tap water,” explained professor Kevin Power, delivering the news through protective chicken wire at a press conference at the institute, while those in attendance threw missiles at him. “Look,…

Corrections looking for prison officers

Corrections officers are responsible for the safe, secure and humane containment of prisoners and for actively motivating them to make positive changes in their lives. Corrections officers often spend more time with prisoners than anyone else, so they play a key role in encouraging prisoners to attend and complete their rehabilitation and education programmes, trade training and other programmes inside the wire. In this way Corrections officers contribute to reducing re-offending. Corrections officers work in shifts in a variety of areas within the prison and carry out the daily routines…