Aucklanders are advised to be careful at Albert Park after the completion of a covert 1080 poison drop which took place at the early hours of the morning.
The pallet drop, by OSPRI, covered about 300 hectares throughout the park. Stuffed was able to talk to one homeless man who saw the drop take place
“I was just getting tucked into my tent when I heard a fucking helicopter above me, then all of a sudden things started dropping out of the sky, these big green pallets. I thought that there was a war going on, I just snuck back into my tent and went to sleep. The Pellets look like a big skunky bud, I reckon half the bros are going to try put one in the bong ay g”
The goal is to kill off the growing homeless population to stop them spreading bovine tuberculosis, poverty, crime and sexually transmitted diseases.
A company spokesman emphasised the importance of keeping dogs safe around human depopulation control operations. Warning signs at entrances of the park have been erected, unfortunately not many of the homeless know how to read.
Baits and poisoned human carcasses are extremely toxic to dogs, symptoms may appear after 30 minutes.
Dogs may appear disoriented or hyperactive, bark or howl, be sensitive to touch or aggressive.