Netflix documentaries now admissible in court

A new ruling allowing Netflix documentaries to be admissible in court as evidence has been passed in both the EU and US legal systems, which could see dozens of cold cases face a retrial, SatireHub can confirm. Docuseries like Making A Murderer, The Staircase, Evil Genius and Amanda Knox will now be deemed as evidence and are expected to void all previous court proceedings, evidence and witness testimonies in favour of the Netflix shows’ content. Similarly the HBO produced Michael Jackson documentary Leaving Neverland will be included in the law changes as it meets the required ‘outrage levels’ from…

Boy raised by kangaroos discovered in Australia

Australian authorities have captured a  feral young boy this morning in New South Wales, who had apparently been living in the wild with a group of kangaroos. Many sightings of the boy had been reported by various ranchers of the region over the last months, and he had even drawn some attention from the local media. The child had been reported to accompany a mob of red kangaroos, which seemed to have adopted him as one of their own. Officers of the federal police were finally able to capture him this morning, 16 kilometers outside of Broken Hill. He was taken to the hospital immediately after…

Notorious B.I.G.’s son proposes to his longtime boyfriend!

The son of the late rapper Notorious B.I.G. is engaged to be married to his longtime boyfriend Jason Wertz. According to a source connected to the family, Christopher Wallace Jr., who goes by CJ, dropped to one knee in front of friends and family and asked Wertz to be his husband. The couple first met freshman year of high school and have been inseparable ever since. CJ first revealed their relationship after his high school graduation earlier this year. The rap legend’s son posted a photograph on the social network…

The World’s Oldest People Keep Dying And No One Knows Why

With the official oldest person in the world being announced this week as 116-year-old Japanese woman Kane Tanaka, SatireHub investigates one of the most cursed Guinness records to date, which has so far taken every single person who has held the prestigious title. Investigating the records of all the oldest people in the world, we start with the very oldest recorded person in the world, Jeanne Calment, a 122-year-old French woman who suddenly just dropped dead in 1997. “Just like nearly all of her predecessors, Calment was just your stereotypical supercentenarian enjoying life to the fullest,” tells historian Dr. James Patterson,…

Rotorua mayoral candidate proves once again that the elderly should not be using social media

A Rotorua mayoral candidate has lodged a formal complaint with the police in relation to a social media page parodying his run for mayor. Reynold Macpherson, who is running for mayor on behalf of the Rotorua District Residents and Ratepayers Association he is secretary of, complained to the police earlier this week about a page which is obviously satire, proving once again that people over the age of 70 shouldn’t be on social media. The complaint centred around identity theft, image theft and “fraudulent impersonation that puts words in my…

Maori man criticised for getting a white tribal tattoo

A Brisbane-based Tokoroa man has today been criticised by White Australian Civil Rights groups for what has been described as an adoption of cultural elements of a minority culture. Prominent activists associated with Australia’s unique moto-racing community have today condemned 32-year-old skip bin logisitics mananger, Kauri Cooper, after a photo of his newest tattoo that was posted on social media went viral. The tattoo is believed to be paying homage American extreme sports, motocross and lifestyle clothing brand FOX RACING. The FOX RACING community is known for it’s tribal rituals of doing stunts while…

Video featuring white men with faux moko upsets Maori using white man technology to watch video

A video showing a group of white men dressed as Māori and pretending to be descendants of a Waikato-Tainui sub-tribe has outraged members of the Māori community as they watched the video on their smartphones which were designed and developed by Caucasians. The eight minute clip – which was made to look like it was filmed at Te Whare Rūnanga at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds – was posted to Youtube last year by a church group. At the beginning of the film a group of male actors – wearing fake…

A word from old mate Sir Bob Jones

The news from Sydney that the Fairfax Board has declined the best offer they could solicit for Stuff’s newspaper fleet, namely $50m, came as a surprise. They’re out of touch and should have grabbed it, tee-heeing as they fled that there’s one born every minute. For who would be dumb enough to want to buy such rapidly dwindling in value assets? Further evidence of their lack of touch is the hint that they may try to float the company, perhaps inspired by the constant moaning by our sharemarket writers about…

Destiny Church celebrates 21 homophobic years

The Pentecostal church popular with South Auckland beneficiaries that keeps getting under the skin of mainstream New Zealand has come of age. Renowned for its denouncement of homosexuality, its political failure, scamming vulnerable people, the Tu Tangata Motorcycle Club, objection to other religions and the use of the Mongrel Mob’s gang sign, Destiny Church has celebrated its 21st anniversary. Happy birthday Destiny Church! SatireHub supports freedom of speech.

Woman posts old holiday pic to make it look like 2019 going well

Overly conscious of the fact that she hasn’t exactly been setting the world alight so far in 2019, one Auckland woman has posted an old holiday picture in a bid to project the appearance of someone really excelling in life. Louise McNeill uploaded a picture of herself poolside with cocktail in hand from her 2018 trip to Rarotonga, but crucially declined to add a caption such as ‘bring me back’, ‘can it be summer already?’ or ‘throwback’ thus openly giving the impression that this is a trip she is currently…